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Culture Shock: Fauna, revisited
Today I had several close encounters of the faunal kind.
Encounter One took place after spending a morning assembling furniture when I went to take a shower. No sooner had I set foot in the tub than did I let out a yell (actually, probably more like a scream; the scream of a little girl) and leap backwards. There, next to the drain, was That Spider's exact duplicate, furry legs, gnashing mandibles, and all. I don't want to think about how the bastard got into the apartment, but I immediately grabbed a handful of paper towels. Then I stood over it for about ten minutes, trying to will myself to strike.
Let it be known that it wasn't my conscience that stayed my hand; I was perfectly fine ending that creature's life. What stopped me was fear of the thing and how upset it might get when I went to strike.
First I folded the towels to create the thickest possible clump, to keep my hand as far away from swishing/squished spider. I moved my hand towards the thing and it twitched. Quickly. I pulled my hand back and considered my weapon. With the thing so thickly bunched up, it was fairly small in the other two dimensions, making it seem possible, nay, likely, that the spider could parry my attack and riposte, with extreme prejudice. This was something that I really, really needed to avoid. Really. So I unfolded the paper towel, making it thinner but wider. I looked at the spider; I looked at my weapon; I went and got more paper towels. I finally gritted my teeth and, emitting a battle cry that would have made Leonidas proud, struck hard. I ended it immediately, but the sound that the thing made will doubtlessly haunt my dreams for weeks. Aside from the expected juicy popping sound, there was something else. It was almost as though the thing cried out in frustrated, animalistic rage, a split second before I drove my weapon home. I haven't been able to stop shaking all day, since.
The other Encounter was at the WizKids company picnic this afternoon. A bird shat on my head. So it goes.
Posted on Wednesday, August 29, 2007 at 8:03:32 PM - link
subject: Re: Culture Shock: Fauna, revisited
from: Chris
sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 at 05:04:19 AM
Karma?
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